I don’t know how to sell myself”

If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking “I hate selling” or “I don’t know how to sell myself”, you’re not alone, and you’re not failing at business.

In a recent episode of DisruptHer Conversations, Selina Kelley sat down with Rose Napoléon, founder of Abundance Bureau, to explore why so many entrepreneurs struggle with marketing and sales. The conclusion may surprise you: the issue isn’t a lack of skills, confidence, or strategy.

It’s isolation.

The “Ick” Behind Selling

Rose introduces a term that resonates deeply with entrepreneurs: the ick.

The ick is that uncomfortable feeling that surfaces when selling feels:

• Pushy or aggressive
• Tied to guilt or discomfort around money
• Associated with unethical or manipulative marketing practices

For many entrepreneurs, selling has been modeled in ways that feel misaligned with their values. So even when their work is meaningful, the act of promoting it triggers resistance.

The problem isn’t selling.
It’s the story we’ve been told about selling.

Ethical Marketing Is an Act of Service

One of the most important reframes from the conversation is this:

Ethical marketing isn’t about convincing people.
It’s about making your work visible to the people who need it.

When entrepreneurs stay quiet out of fear of being “too salesy,” they don’t protect their integrity, they limit their impact. Marketing, when done with intention and clarity, allows your ideas to reach the right audience without pressure or manipulation.

Marketing vs. Sales: A Crucial Distinction

A major source of confusion comes from blending marketing and sales into one uncomfortable task.

Marketing is the long-term work:

• Brand positioning
• Messaging and communication
• Where and how you show up consistently

Sales are the result:

• The outcome of clarity
• The consequence of trust built over time

Sales don’t happen instead of marketing.
They happen because of it.

When entrepreneurs say they hate selling, they’re often trying to sell without a foundation — without context, without repetition, and without support.

Learning Marketing Before Delegating It

Rose shares how her own relationship with marketing began through a passion project spotlighting positive Black communities in Montréal. While the project created impact, it didn’t create income, and that gap became a turning point.

Rather than outsourcing immediately, she chose to learn marketing from the inside out by experimenting first, then studying digital communications formally.

Her disruptive belief today is simple:

Entrepreneurs should understand marketing before they delegate it.

Not to do everything themselves, but to remain grounded, autonomous, and aligned in their decisions.

When Misalignment Leads to Burnout

The conversation goes beyond tactics into identity.

Rose speaks openly about burnout and the cost of trying to fit into traditional business structures that left little room for creativity or individuality. Suppressing who she was led to exhaustion, and ultimately to investing in her mental health through therapy, coaching, and self-education.

The realization was clear:

Hiding your authentic self is expensive.

This personal disruption now informs how she supports entrepreneurs, not by forcing strategies, but by helping them build businesses that reflect who they truly are.

You Don’t Hate Selling: You Hate Doing It Alone

One of the most powerful insights from the episode is this:

Most entrepreneurs don’t struggle with selling because they lack strategy.
They struggle because they’re isolated.

Selling feels heavy when you’re:

• Questioning every decision alone
• Overthinking every post
• Carrying doubt without perspective

Clarity doesn’t come from pressure.
It comes from community, reflection, and shared language.

Two Ways to Stop Selling in Isolation

If this conversation resonates, there are two ways to continue it — without forcing yourself into tactics that don’t fit.

Abundance Clarity Circle (Group Program)

Abundance Clarity Circle is a three-month group program designed to help entrepreneurs:

• Clarify their message and positioning
• Rebuild their relationship with marketing
• Learn through live workshops and group calls
• Receive one-on-one support throughout the process

No pressure.
No performative selling.
Just aligned marketing that feels like you.

Explore Abundance Clarity Circle and build a business you don’t have to force.